The Feeling of Hopelessness.

The state the world is in leaves much to be desired. Watching the news on the telly these days can contribute to a feeling that the world is deteriorating beyond recognition, and that the downward spiral does not look like it will abate. As I look around me, it seems really daunting. That light at the end of the tunnel looks like a fantasy, and not a distant possibility. The feeling of hopelessness accompanying these thoughts can get really overwhelming.

As I rummage through these feelings that surface, I decided to take stock of my internal conversations. It was all very easy to fall prey to emotions. These feelings of hopelessness can easily suck one into the victim mentality. The path of least resistance is to feel overwhelmed, wallow in self pity, dwell on our own misfortunes, wish for miracles and the crux of the problem, do nothing but wait.

I have long admired true stories of characters that triumphed against all odds. Oftentimes, wished I had the tenacity to succeed in the face of adversity. These figures appear to possess characteristics which I thought I did not, hence, not being able to achieve the results desired. I would consider myself intelligent, experienced, brave and adventurous. So I am exposed to the myriad of inspirational quotes that are so cliched, but goes in one ear, and as quickly exits the other. Understanding a phrase, does not mean one lives it. People throw around phrases like, "Live like there's no tomorrow" or "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", but few, if any, actually LIVE by those values on a daily basis. We like to sound clever, even to the extent of preaching such values to others, (myself not excluded), but to be conscious enough to live it is just another matter altogether.

So as I reflected on the choices of reactions and responses I have towards feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that arise, I find myself wanting to look at myself as a fighter. For me, a fighter does not quit. A fighter fights, no matter how hard it gets. This does not equate to being reckless, or to fight with abandon when the situation calls for a step back to restrategise. It means, regroup, reassess, restock, then take action. If it fails, repeat as necessary.

Because the way I see it, life is how much you put into it. If you invest 10 dollars, your life will look like 10 dollars. If you decide that your life should look like a million bucks, it's time to put in the investment to see the results you so desire. You may not have a million bucks to put in all at once, but if you keep your head down and put all you have into it, it'll start looking pretty sweet.

Note to self: Heed own words. ;)

Keep your heads down people, and see you at the million dollar club.

The Feeling of Importance.

I was recently asked the question of why do people crave attention.

I postulate that wanting attention is a natural and instinctive reaction as a human being. It is a social behaviour that generates energy so that a group thrives.

The next question is, why do most people want it so bad, and why do some want it not at all.

I suggested that those who don't have it, want it. Those who have it, want more of it. And there is another category of those who have too much of it (too much by definition of the individual recipient), want none of it.

So the final question was, what does attention give that creates this want for it?

One of the reasons that was suggested was the need for one to feel important. That as an individual they matter in the scheme of things. Because most individuals have not learnt the capacity to derive appreciation from self, this leads to reliance from an external source to provide self worth. Getting attention leads one to believe that he/she has value, hence in their own minds, equates to feeling important.

This of course is a parasitical behaviour, one prevalent in the society we live in today. Not only do people no longer see that this behaviour is destructive and not sustainable, it is expected, nay demanded of random strangers to acknowledge their existence, because that individual feels that they 'deserve' it.

Deserve, fair and right, are owed to no one. If you want something, you have to fight for it.

Excuses.

They are for those who will not take accountability for the faults or mistakes. There is no other way of looking at it. Excuses surface when someone is intending to shift the 'blame' away from themselves for the shit that happened.

Shit happens. It is part and parcel of life. We do something, it doesn't work out. Sometimes, it blows up in our faces. Bam! Shit happens.

The question is, what happens after shit happens?

99.9% of the time, the general population is very adept at quickly concocting reasons why they are not responsible for the outcome. Blame shifting comes naturally for almost everyone. We never like to be wrong. We always like to be right. Hence, the ability to 'justify' ones reasons for less than favourable outcomes has become an instinctive art that requires very little formal education.

This is not to say that there doesn't exist a pocket of people who have risen past that selfish victim mindset and are able to face faults and mistakes head on, accept that it has happened, move past it to find a mitigating solution to arrive at a favourable outcome.

When you have committed an offence or mistake, it is really ungainly to sit on a high horse of defensive indignation. Making matters worse is to point the finger at the person who has called you out for your mistakes, turning the tables and blaming that party for not being 'understanding' of your 'misfortune' of not holding up your end of the bargain.

This is the world where I live in. It is no wonder that rainbows are few and far between to colour my day. If you happen by chance to be reading this, help
make my day a little better by not giving excuses, and look at how you have contributed to the situation, take a responsible stand and choose to make it better. I thank you in advance.

When Everyone Thinks They Are Right.

The trouble with wanting to be right, is that there needs another party to be wrong.

There have been many articles written about the growing sense of entitlement individuals have as a result of the changing dynamics of economic and social status brought on by a more 'affluent' world. It is not a disease afflicting only the 'young' or 'younger' generation. It is an epidemic that affects all. The result of a connected world that keeps very few isolated from the onslaught of 'opinions'.

Let's discuss opinions.

Opinion is defined as a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. (As defined by Google if you type in, 'definition of opinion')

I reiterate the crucial point not to be missed: Not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

However, I have noticed a severe lack of scrutiny from the mouths of The Opinionator (which by the way, is a word, not just something I just conjured up). The force with which most Opinionators proclaim their 'opinions' leaves the impression that there is undisputed solid evidence proving their claims. More often than not, most jumped the gun, having to eventually swallow their words soon after. More distressing than just the premature interjections, are how often they occur, and how easily influenced the audience has become. It is now the norm to run your mouth with little thought of consequences because, "It is my right."

So seeing as everyone has rights, what's on the other side of that coin?

When It Rains, It Pours.

So if you think you had it bad, you might have spoken too soon.

Much of the world today hits social media platforms to complain, gripe, whine and pretty much dole out as much moaning as one can muster. The reasons for doing so (which they believe internally drives them) range from:

1. Wanting to 'Share'

2. Educate the Uninformed

3. 'Make a Difference'

4. Commiserate

5. Simply to Connect

Of course, the list is not exhaustive. This is also not to undermine those who do it for 'valid' reasons (whatever helps you sleep at night). This is an observation of the habits that social media has allowed to emerge, thrive and yes… overrun lives.

These reasons, although seemingly innocuous, have layers that can be uncovered to reveal, sometimes sinister, or at least deep-seated underlying intentions. For example:

1. Wanting to Share, can reveal underlying intentions of broadcasting that "I am the first one on the pulse of things." Which could inadvertently reveal that competitive streak.

2. Educate the Uninformed, can reveal a person who has an inferiority complex, hence needing to create a persona that is superior to the rest. 

3. Make A Difference, can reveal a person who feels insignificant, but with one simple act of clicking on a keyboard, feel better about themselves for having done 'something' as opposed to nothing. (debate on the subject of 'something' is left for a discussion on another day)

4. Commiserate, many a times are performed by pretentious people who offer sweet nothings, but will likely not show up come crunch time.

5. Simply to Connect, shows how lonely this brave new world has become. And the sheer number of people hooked and addicted to these new technologies are undeniably testaments.

The world we know today is virtually (pun intended) unrecognisable from what it looked like less than 20 years ago. There is of course much talk about how disconnected the world has become, despite being the most 'connected' ever in history. These days, airing dirty laundry in public is no longer disdainful. At times, it is even lauded. Gone are the days when there were filters and policing of information sharing to ensure veracity and quality. This means people need to be more savvy in determining what is news and what is trash. Unfortunately, if the way things are going are anything to go by, brain capacity appears to be shrinking as rapidly as the resources left on earth. 

The picture I paint reflects the surroundings and environment within which I live. It is bleak and it is ugly. If it looks bad, I remind myself that it has the infinite potential to become worse. Because when it starts to rain, I am no longer surprised when the heavens open and it pours.

Welcome to the Age of Noise.

We live in a world where competition is rife for attention. At every juncture, there is demand for recognition, acknowledgement and agreement. Despite providing very little factual evidence that this is due, we are expected to throw our support behind any Tom, Dick or Harry that make bold claims. It is a time where the loudest and most vocal are allowed to thrive, even if evidence later reveals that substance is lacking. It is a time when true grit and strong stands are drowned out to make way for instant gratification and the path of least resistance.

Welcome to the Age of Noise.